I had to take a break…

I’ve thought about writing this post for months now. But I could never make myself sit down and do it because I wasn’t exactly sure how to say what I wanted to say without sharing a lot of stuff that I’m sure no one would care about or without being too depressing.

I’m honestly still not sure how exactly I’m going to say it… but it does need to be said, so I’m just going to wing it and hope for the best!

I actually started a similar post back in January 2025… but it was pretty harsh and pretty bleak, heh. Soooo. I never finished that post, and also never published it. I may still go ahead and finish it out and publish it someday though… because I also think it says things that need to be said.

But that’s for later.

For now, for this post, I just wanted to explain that I had to step away from the online world for awhile, for various different reasons, and I know it’s kind of all the rage these days to take a “digital detox” and that people say it really did help them when they come back online…

But… I think they are drastically underselling the benefits. 😛

For real. I’ve never really felt the need to “unplug” until recently… however, I think if I could have had even a glimpse of the DRASTIC difference it would make in my overall mood, outlook, and mental and emotional health, I would have done it AGES ago.

I really cannot express adequately in words how INCREDIBLY DIFFERENT I have felt being OFFLINE significantly more than before.

It has been the best decision I’ve ever made for my health, no lie. (And I thought I wasn’t even really involved in any online drama, either. But as is usually the case, being outside the bubble for a time makes it really, really obvious that the online spaces are essentially always drama, all the time. Just some spaces are more exaggerated than others.)

So all of that to say… I stepped back for months and I absolutely LOVED it… and I have decided I’m not going back.

Sometimes, you read a book that changes your life. And sometimes, you find a book you need at precisely the time you need it. Such was the case for me with the book “Please Unsubscribe, Thanks” by Julio Vincent Gambuto.

I was randomly in Barnes and Nobel one day and randomly passed that book on the shelf and immediately grabbed it and bought it. It was exactly what I wanted to read about at the time. Because at the time, I had been feeling quite agitated and restless and seemed to always have a nagging, underlying unhappiness no matter what I did or accomplished that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I had just finished reading “Everything is Fucked: A Book About Hope” by Mark Manson and was currently reading “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” (also by Mark Manson… yes I technically read them out of order but that’s not really relevant…) and both of those books ALSO changed my life, literally. They helped me recognize a LOT of what had been bothering me and helped me to accept some things too (namely, that shit is going to happen no matter what you do… and also that’s okay, because that’s just part of being alive, so why do we try so very hard to pretend it’s possible to ever escape the shit???)

But when I saw the title of this book, “Please Unsubscribe, Thanks”… the other piece of the puzzle fell into place.

I was tired of all the bullshit. I was exhausted by the relentless onslaught of the Hustle Hamster Wheel… both from within (my own time on the Indie Author “Success” Hamster Wheel) and without (being subjected to everyone else’s time on the Hamster Wheel of Whatever Product they were trying to sell me… all the time. Constantly. Everywhere. Forever.)

So as soon as I finished “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck”, I jumped into “Please Unsubscribe, Thanks.”

And it was… possibly even more eye-opening than the previous two books by Mark Manson. (Though I would SEVERLY RECOMMEND you read all three, for sure absolutely 1000%.)

Everything Julio said resonated. He’d also became fed up with the constant bullshit. And he proposed a way to remove yourself from it as much as possible. He proposed a method of stepping back, stepping away, unsubscribing, taking some time to recognize the Hamster Wheel (or Infinite Loop, as he calls it) for what it is and realize how it’s controlling and manipulating your life to keep you on autopilot so you don’t have time and are too exhausted to think for yourself.

Because that’s when you buy more shit. And you don’t ask questions. And you don’t demand better. You don’t demand better quality products and you don’t demand better customer service. And you give the big corporations more and more of your money while receiving less and less for it, and you don’t even really notice, because you’re too busy and tired trying to stay on top of all the noise.

He also goes into a deep dive on how we all ended up here in the first place and where we’ll end up if we don’t do something about it, which is incredibly fascinating… and terrifying.

And yes… he DOES have some solutions on what to do about it too, don’t worry. 🙂

Solutions that I’m enacting now, myself. Because I did step off the Hamster Wheel, and re-evaluated all of my “subscriptions”, and I took the time to truly consider my own personal values and even wrote them down in a concrete manner, and my goal now is to bring everything in my life into alignment with my own personal values.

Because that’s a large part of where that underlying, nagging unhappiness was coming from.

The online industry spaces I was most exposed to (among other things) did NOT line up with my own core values. There was a disconnect there, and it was draining my energy and damaging my well-being without me consciously even realizing it. 🙁

By “unplugging”, I removed myself from all outside influences and was finally able to really see clearly.

I could finally define what I really wanted from life at this phase, without that contemplation being clouded by people trying to constantly sell me on things… either ideas or strategies or habits or products or courses or conferences…

There was just TOO MUCH NOISE, ALL THE TIME. You can’t think clearly when you always have bullshit blaring into your brain.

So anyway. Like I said, it has been so nice being away from all the bullshit that I have decided… I’m not going back. 🙂

I am living again on “human time”, not “machine time” (just read the book) and I am absolutely ADORING IT.

I have started a real garden for the first time… something I’ve long been wanting to do, but never had time or energy for.

I have started workouts again, another thing I could never seem to have time or energy for before.

The family cooks dinner together almost every night… we have, over the last while, drastically reduced our reliance on eating out… but now, we hardly ever buy the easier, faster meals like frozen foods, either.

And the writing… the writing has become FUN again. I’ve never subscribed to (haha see what I did there?) many of the notions that have been super popular in the indie author industry over the last decade… for example, I refused to ever rapid release even though we were told years ago that was the only way to make any money (not surprisingly that strategy has also caused a lot of problems that we now have to deal with – could have told you that years ago!), and I’ve refused to put as much time, effort, and money into ads as has been recommended… in fact I’ve probably been one of the most “chill” indie authors I know as far as applying a “business mindset” to my writing…

But even the little bit of “business” I did bring into my writing over a whole decade has drastically changed the way I feel about it. 🙁

And so, I’ve decided to “unsubscribe” from that idea, too.

Writing is for pure fun again… and in thinking like that… it’s become more fun to do again. Thank goodness! Because it was unfortunate to have my favorite thing nearly ruined! Yikes! (Though it’s still not the same as it once was… sadly.)

What in the world does any of this mean, though, really?

Why am I even bothering to write this post?

Even though I’m quite sure most of you reading this didn’t even know I took a step back, I wanted to explain a little about what’s been going on behind-the-scenes over here. It’s not all been sunshine and rainbows, that’s for sure. I went through a very long burnout that I’m finally coming out of… not due to publishing too much or writing too much like most authors… no… my burnout came from being subjected to too much online bullshit for too long. 😛

So here is what all of this really means:

1. You should go read all 3 of those books I mentioned. 🙂 Follow the links above!
2. I will be online in general significantly less than before… essentially, no more than I have been recently, and very possibly even less than that over time (so if you haven’t noticed anything different, nothing to see here!)
3. Going forward, I will prioritize this blog, my newsletter, and my Ream page (so if you are interested in any of my projects, those are the best places to be to stay updated)
4. I will rarely be on Facebook anymore, but I do still check Messenger notifications
5. I still enjoy Instagram, so I’ll be there now and then
6. The book and film projects are still ongoing for sure
7. I’ll be focusing a lot more on in-person events rather than online sales

And that’s about it!

I do have quite a lot of creative projects on the docket for 2025, and I have been very remiss in keeping this blog updated with that kind of thing over the last few years, which I do regret. Hopefully I can do a better job about that going ahead, as well!

For now, this post has gotten long enough, but I’m going to write up another one with a list of 2025 happenings… so until then…

Hop off the Wheel, my friend! <3